We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
