i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
