May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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