We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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