what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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