how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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