The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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