I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize