my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
