idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Couch. On fire.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
