listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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