If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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