I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
