it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
