my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
