How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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