a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
