end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
