I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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