bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
