Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
