good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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