i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
