I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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