what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
