brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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