drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
