"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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