Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
