FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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