Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
