Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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