it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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