god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize