Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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