I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
