i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
