I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
