I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
