Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
