just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.