Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.