at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My first STD was from a foam party
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.