I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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