Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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