And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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