This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
