just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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