Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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