and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
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We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
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I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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