What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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