don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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