remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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