Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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