Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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