Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i drank out of a bidet.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
