I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
