So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
