im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
