yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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