I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
