bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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