ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
