I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We're too hungover to prance.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
