how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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