Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

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  (330): no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce http://tfl.nu/rmcp
  Replies (22) Good night (852) Bad night (3079)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4112) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

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  (561): It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out. http://tfl.nu/g5y4
  Replies (14) Good night (678) Bad night (6305)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  only you would photoshop your dick

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  (973): only you would photoshop your dick http://tfl.nu/yxwr
  Replies (10) Good night (1034) Bad night (4610)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.

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  (732): She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS. http://tfl.nu/97yj
  Replies (85) Good night (8920) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

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  (303): So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door? http://tfl.nu/on5x
  Replies (8) Good night (4263) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...

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  (435): Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters... http://tfl.nu/orhj
  Replies (1) Good night (968) Bad night (2628)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

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  (651): okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. http://tfl.nu/937u
  Replies (9) Good night (5235) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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  (608): all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!'' http://tfl.nu/g7vx
  Replies (22) Good night (7218) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.

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  (619): He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one. http://tfl.nu/6tfs
  Replies (6) Good night (2995) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4553) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro

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  (404): I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro http://tfl.nu/8m8i
  Replies (5) Good night (1166) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday

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  (240): ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday http://tfl.nu/ci9y
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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  (404): Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat. http://tfl.nu/fqqq
  Replies (4) Good night (1594) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks

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  (425): If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks http://tfl.nu/pmwr
  Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (261)

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