I wish I only lived at night.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference