Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Leave Me Alone

  (573): View more from Missouri

  At least least me cry on your voice mail

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  (347): Leave Me Alone (573): At least least me cry on your voice mail http://tfl.nu/2wcv
  Replies (14) Good night (795) Bad night (4514)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.

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  (860): i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess. http://tfl.nu/ekn6
  Replies (9) Good night (967) Bad night (4937)
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  (368): View more from

  you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

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  (368): you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/nfr6
  Replies (22) Good night (7035) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky

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  (317): we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky http://tfl.nu/igrt
  Replies (26) Good night (4530) Bad night (2057)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

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  (336): Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex. http://tfl.nu/1j3r
  Replies (36) Good night (1105) Bad night (6063)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.

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  (313): The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her. http://tfl.nu/8p27
  Replies (20) Good night (5712) Bad night (1977)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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  (847): You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day http://tfl.nu/8r8f
  Replies (8) Good night (2253) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.

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  (928): So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something. http://tfl.nu/zx0n
  Replies (9) Good night (1397) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.

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  (303): Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor. http://tfl.nu/urne
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.

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  (850): The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud. http://tfl.nu/iki6
  Replies (8) Good night (1222) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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  (415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5
  Replies (5) Good night (707) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"

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  (734): The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!" http://tfl.nu/glab
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...

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  (514): Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in... http://tfl.nu/80hu
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.

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  (207): We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now. http://tfl.nu/72zt
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (153)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback

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  (610): Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback http://tfl.nu/do40
  Replies (0) Good night (223) Bad night (59)

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