Don't you send me to vm
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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