STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
