Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends