a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
