Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ugly people sure do ruin things
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
