nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
