Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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