Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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